My first encounter with the Gothic was an immersive experience. I came face-to-face with fear and fascination for the first time in a dream! I was seven at the time. One night, I lay awake thinking about the death of a character in a storybook. I wanted to know where the dead go. As I drifted in and out of sleep, a dream began to form.

I’m standing alone at the entrance of a cave. The cave looks dark and mysterious, beckoning me to enter. I climb in. I’m immediately surrounded by eerie colors – they’re coming from strange plants and creatures sprawled across the cave walls, exuding a supernatural glow. I hear hisses, growls, and whispers. Unnatural shadows and voices dance around me. Something stirs in the darkness. It’s restless and angry, and it’s coming toward me. I realize it’s a ghost! I run for my life…

I woke up scared and excited at the same time. For days afterwards, I couldn’t stop thinking about the dream. I sought answers from my parents, but they dismissed my encounter as a silly dream. Their disinterest triggered something explosive inside me. I sat down and turned my dream into a short story – the very first story I had ever written.

It wasn’t until many years later that I recognized my story’s Gothic trajectory: it has a complete arc with a dark beginning, middle, and end! There is a troubled protagonist, a disturbing inciting incident, a supernatural antagonist, a terrifying “rock bottom” moment (where the protagonist realizes he is going to die if he doesn’t fight back), and an epic battle between Good and Evil. Darkness, fear, rage, and despair infiltrate every line, along with blood and gore (definitely not PG-rated). In the end, my protagonist makes it out of the cave alive, but he is no longer the same person. I began to wonder if he emerges alone after all.

I realized I might have brought back a ghost with me that night.

My ghost stayed invisible until one day, it manifested during a very difficult time in my life when I had hit rock bottom. My ghost grew bigger and angrier. It finally leaped from the pages of my short story onto my graduate school application essay and dragged me straight to its writing program. My ghost whispered stories of deaths and rebirths into my ears. It told me to fight back with my blood and tears so I can rewrite my destiny. It commanded me to help others make sense of loss, grief, and pain through writing and teaching the Gothic. And this time, I faced the ghost instead of running away. I stared into its eyes, and I found myself.

I’ve been writing and advocating Gothic stories ever since. My first encounter with the Gothic was not only immersive but also transformative! I’m proud to say I’m no longer afraid of my ghost because now I know it has always been there to empower me!